I am absolutely obsessed with bees. I dream of one day setting up my own bee hive and living a happy self-sustained life snacking on nothing but honey. I freaking love me some honey.
Let me clarify though- I only like bees, wasps on the other hand I would like removed from existence. They annoy me so much. So very very much.
There used to be a tree in our garden which was just like every other tree.
A good tree.
A nice tree.
One day the tree became ill.
Some kind of parasite had infested the tree.
Everything we attempted to try and help the tree fight off the invader just didn’t work: the nodule wasn’t going anywhere, and it was slowly killing the tree.
Then everything got worse.
In its attack on the tree, the parasite left the poor tree with large open wounds which began to leak sap everywhere, making the tree’s zombification even more horrific.
Then the wasps descended.
Turns out wasps love tree sap, and soon enough the tree was not only zombified, but also covered in vampire wasps which were feasting on its tree sap.
(I hate wasps so much I drew them without eyes)
With the number of wasps attracted to the dying tree, going into the garden to do anything became impossible.
To step outside meant the risk of being stung by the wasps. This did not sit well with me.
A good tree infested and dying?
Scum wasps feeding on its misery?
Being afraid to leave my own house?
Something had to be done: nobody puts Benjamin in the corner.
Those wasps were going down, but first I had to prepare myself for the task at hand.
I grabbed a jumper that was lying around, two cans of bug spray and a fly-swatter: I was ready.
Those wasps were going down.
I charged out of the back door, screaming and spraying insect killer around me in a protective cloud whilst swatting the air around me like a boy possessed.
I smashed wasps out of mid-air, fighting my way to the infested tree, which I also sprayed liberally. I was also singing “Eye of The Tiger”.
After many minutes, the air was free of wasps and the tree was too.
There remained only one more thing to do:
I still think of you tree.
You were a good tree.
A nice tree.
so sad about the tree! but i loved the story! do you really love bees & honey – cos so do I! but I don’t think bees would thrive on Papa Westray…they would all Blow Away!
how you doing anyhow, apart from writing wonderful illustrated tales, & where am ya now?
Hallo Rosemary! I just googled “Papa Westray” to see where you live and it looks very nice, if perhaps a little bit remote?
I indeed do love bees and honey, and I am dead serious about one day owning hives of my own- perhaps saving them for my mid-life crisis when it hits in twenty years or so! I’m doing just fine, but I do miss the days of CREW and Lancaster itself! It almost seems like a dream! Hope you are well and good, and I would say to keep on writing, but I’m sure you already are!
Oh dear God, I laughed so hard I couldn’t breath, then cried for your loss. Epic blog is Epic.
keep writing ben i love you
I love your blog
Can’t wait for the next update!!
wow liked your work so much and really interesting story.
Great stories! You ever heard of Hyperbole and a Half? Its kind of similar to your stories (MS Paint and all! Haha)
You might like it.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
Yes I have! It’s a really great blog and the art is about a megaton better than my scrawlings
I love your blog, it’s funny and cute and silly and the post about your Nan made me laugh so much I spilled my coffee. Her face! Omg! And um I read one comment on a different post saying you should brush up on your painting (the way he/she/it said it was unusually annoying too -_-), but scrü that. I much prefer it the way it is!
…..I’m Ben Wells? ….but seriously, i’m Ben wells….this was really weird to find….I have never been so confused