Turtles can live forever.
There, I said it. Turtles can live forever.
They reach a certain point and then they stop aging. They stop aging.
THEY STOP AGING.
The only reason we aren’t swimming in an odd green sea of dancing turtles is because disease or some predator normally take them out eventually.
But still- turtles can live forever.
I have a habit of ranting this at people when I first meet them. A typical conversation goes like this:
Me: “So did you know Turtles can live forever?”
Them: “Sorry?”
Me: “Turtles. They live forever. They literally do not age.”
Them: “Oh… that’s nice.”
Me: “They could live forever. Turtles are their own fountain of eternal life.”
Them: “That’s good. Good for them.”
Me:”But they live forever! Isn’t that amazing?”
Them:”I suppose.”
I’m pretty sure the reason I’m so obsessed with the fact TURTLES LIVE FOREVER is because I’m so preoccupied with finding a way to ensure that I, too, will LIVE FOREVER LIKE TURTLES.
Perhaps it isn’t a genetic trait or a product of evolution, perhaps they just know something we don’t. Has anyone asked?
Well perhaps not. Maybe immortality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Would we still be human if there was no limit to our existence? Would life lose all meaning and excitement if there were no end to our days? Would we want to live at all? Perhaps this is the real reason we aren’t swimming in turtles.
Turtle immortality is a heavy burden indeed.
I am still jealous of turtles though. So what if they are slow, relatively dim and don’t do all that much in life?
I am pretty similar, maybe I’ll live forever as well…
We can only hope, my friends. We can only hope.
Tags: eternal life, immortality, turtles
Your posts are the best I have read in a long time.
I concur
Oh my god, this is the best blog ever. IN BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE, I HAVE DIBS ON BEING YOUR BIGGEST FAN.
Hooray! I have a biggest fan!
Good posts, very much enjoyed reading them. Saved your blog to my favourites. Please keep it up this could be the start of something great.
More. POSTS!!!!!
Seriously funny stuff though.
Do you mean turtles or tortoises? Your pictures show either show a tortoise or some mutant land turtle?
Good article though.
Ha ha, I’ll go with “mutant land turtle” as my actual knowledge of turtles/tortoises is awful!
Actually, all tortoises are turtles, but not all turtles are tortoises. Ecology class FTW!!!
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I have fun. Mr. Wells, you are an amazing person. I like your style. I will possibly, maybe, always, read this blog. I don’t know what will happen, I am no fortune teller.
Great blog! I’m following you on Twitter and waiting for more!
It kind of reminds me of Hyperbole and a Half, which is a very, very good thing.
Keep it up!
Thank you!
So does this mean the TMNT are both awesome ninjas AND immortal? That’s just broken.
…yet wonderful?
I think the turtle post was the greatest thing I’ve ever read. Now I love you and turtles.
That’s high praise indeed! Thanks Sarah, will get right on writing some more lovely words for you and everyone else
Thanks! (for being the only other person who’s started a conversation with that fun fact.)
‘Preciate it, fella! (and all was right with the world. well, if you ignore all that’s wrong with it)
This is really humorous, although I too thought that living forever would be really great on more than one occasion. Death is a mechanism of evolution (older individuals die out so young, more adapted ones can be born) but for humans it has lost its meaning.
Hey, I can’t view your site properly within Opera, I actually hope you look into fixing this.
Hi there, I’ve just tested the site with Opera 10.63 and everything seems to load fine. What exactly looks wrong on your end?
I know! Why are people not making a bigger deal out of this??!! Turtles can live forever!
Turtles don’t live forever but they certainly live longer on this earth than we currently do.
However, it is possible for us to live forever. It judt depends on what choice we make now.
Cheers
That was fantastic.
I cried a little.
Good to meet another Ben, just don’t have a class with me, it’s annoying when another Ben is called on and I think it’s me.
Never read anything about turtles living forever; I was under the impressing they lived for more like 100 years. Now certain Jelly Fish on the other hand, I heard they could basically turn back the clock and become youthful after adulthood.
I literally cannot stop reading this. Absolutely hilarious!!!